When doing BJJ or many other martial arts, an essential part of the class is composed of live sparring. That’s when the kids go live with their teammates, and at this moment, they put together the knowledge acquired with strength and endurance against a kid with the same goals.
Very often, some kids get emotional, angry or frustrated while rolling, and that is when parenting comes to action. Parents have mainly two ways to react, first, comfort them and let them choose if they want to continue or not (which very often they chose not to). Second, encourage them to overcome any fear they are facing and work hard to improve their skills. Sometimes the second option demands way more work than the first one, but at the end of the day who will become a better adult? The person scared of confrontations? The person that doesn’t know how to deal with frustrations and anger?
Here is a famous quote from Coach Patrick Murphy “Uncoachable kids become unemployable adults, let your kids get used to someone being tough on them. It’s life, get over it.”
Kids won’t like a lot of things, and that is why you are the parent. Kids need directions and discipline. That is why you make the decisions. Because it’s your responsibility as a parent to decide what will be better for your kid’s future. Disciplined kids are happy kids.
Parents shall give kids what they need, and not what they want. What they want is usually something that will make them happy and satisfied now. What they need will make them successful adults in the future.
They might dislike you right now, they might be angry with you, but in 10 – 20 years they will thank you forever for being a great parent.
By Sensei Leandro Lorenco